I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
