OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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