i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
