It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
