Me too!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
