guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
