so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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