Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
