there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
