She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
