Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
that is very illegal...i love you.
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