So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
