Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
