i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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