You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just high enough for therapy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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