Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So here I am, sexting at work.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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