Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
