I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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