saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
