What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
bring money and cleavage
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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