I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
