Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize