That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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