Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
