He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My penis needs a shock collar
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize