I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
