to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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