I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
