Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
