i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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