She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Please don't give away my fajitas
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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