dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
