I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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