you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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