i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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