we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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