my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
