dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
