If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
