I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
