Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
