And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
