why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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