Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize