u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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