yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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