ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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