I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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