is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize