I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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