I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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