a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
