you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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