Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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