Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
