do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
