I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize