But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
