hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
