But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
